does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
