can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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