you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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