I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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