I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
