she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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