Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize