we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
third nipple confirmed
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
