i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
