and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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