A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I love you. Go after that dick
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
