Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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