remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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