When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
