Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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