Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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