remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
