As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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