At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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