I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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