Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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