So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
