So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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