you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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