Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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