Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Everclear isn't food dammit
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
