you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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