So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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