physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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