it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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