you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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