I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
