Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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