I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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