we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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