tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
