You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
