Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
