i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize