can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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