I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
