WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
