Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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