when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
