it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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