One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
