Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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