Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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