i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
