Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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