Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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