I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
