I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
