like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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