dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
