he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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