The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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