After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
