first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
