miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
