Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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