I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
