it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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