I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My penis needs a shock collar
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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