dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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