Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
